The Kitsune Princess?
by OukamiYasha
Summary: Kurama's the tragic maiden in this fairy-tale like parody where pointlessness and insanity runs amok. Shonen ai. HUG ME!


The Kitsune Prince(ss?)  
  
Kurama's the tragic maiden in this fairy-tale like parody where pointlessness and insanity runs amok. Shonen ai. HUG ME!  
  
Disclaimer: uu; I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho...::sniffles and glomps a picture of Togashi:: I WANT YYH! GIMME!  
  
Settings/Warnings: ^__^ ::dances:: Just a weird fic I made while not paying attention in Algebra class (like always). It's not really based on any fairy tale, it just has an air of fairy tale-like atmosphere...warnings? Pointlessness. Weirdness. Boredness. Ooh, and slight Kurama/Hiei shonen ai. ^^ Does that liven things up? ::eats some Nerds and a strawberry Pocky:: ^- ^ Heheheeee...Pockyyyy...  
  
Taikuru: O_O; ...::swishes his tail slowly as he looks at Nightshade::  
  
Little Raven: O.O; ...she's been inhaling paint fumes again, hasn't she, Taikuru??  
  
Taikuru: uu; ::nods::  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Once upon a depressingly boring Wednesday sitting in an Algebra class that the author will most likely fail, a strange idea was struck. The author, being hopelessly and totally obsessed with a certain kitsune and a certain Jaganshi from a certain anime thought up a parody-like fanfic based on the author's concept of a fairy tale. The fanfic stars our two favorite Reikai Tantei members (or, that is to say, the *author's* two favorite Reikai Tantei members).  
  
In this totally imaginary world that does not exist nor ever will unless by some bizarre miraculous coincidence, there existed four lands that were each separated by a rapidly flowing stream of positively charged atoms. It should be noted that the author's next class is Chemistry. Anyway, it was just impossible to get through these streams without being torn into millions of tiny particles that could then be used for Advanced Forensics classes at various high schools and colleges. Back to the Four Lands.  
  
One was known by the others as the Realm Where Stupid Humans Rule Because They Think They're Civilized but are Actually Worse Off Than Their Monkey Ancestors, but to beings who didn't like to talk much, it was referred to as the Ningenkai. Another land had the oxymoronish title "The Place Where Dead People Live", also known as the Reikai. The most dangerous land was the Blood-Coated Land of Brutal Monsters That Want to Kill Everyone They See, but most called it the Makai. The fourth land...well...it used to be called the Land of Nothingness, or the Netherworld, except through some bizarre twist of ironic fate, it had...uh...mysteriously disappeared...yeah...so now it was really WAS the Land of Nothingness. Therefore, no one cared about it anymore(not that they cared before).  
  
In the Makai there was a huge castle carved from onyx, with huge ebony turrets. The towers loomed over the lovely, corpse-ridden countryside and cast shadows over...well, everything was already shadowed, so it didn't really matter.  
  
In the castle lived the king and queen, naturally. The queen was an evil, tyrannical cyborg she-demon named Mukuro. The king was an equally evil, tyrannical demon called Yomi. They ruled over the Makai with iron fists! Okay, actually, they didn't. Mukuro and Yomi really didn't care what happened in their land, just as long as no one was plotting to overthrow them and everything cute was ripped to bits.  
  
Eventually a child came to the king and queen (demonic stork deliveries; it's the way of the future! ). Over the years, the child grew to be absolutely gorgeous. He was freakishly tall; seven feet of freakish tallness to be exact, and had long, flowing hair the color of silver. Also silver was his fluffy fox tail and the large fox ears that poked up from his shimmering hair. His name was Kurama.  
  
Unfortuantely for the king and queen, Kurama had a powerful fondness for anything shiny and heavily guarded. What made this worse was the fact that Kurama was extremely intelligent and ruthlessly cunning. The fox's parents soon found themselves robbed of their precious and demonically shiny possessions by their own son. That made them very angry. Well, actually, it only made Mukuro angry. Yomi found it amusing.  
  
Mukuro soon took it upon herself to poison a gold-framed mirror and put it in a closet guarded by a few flimsy spells, as to trick Kurama into stealing it. The moment the youko was to touch the mirror, he would be turned into a human and then could be tossed out of the castle for big demons to come and eat him. But as fate would have it, Kurama was far too smart to fall for something like that, so Mukuro just cursed Kurama while the fox was sleeping and kicked him out.  
  
The kitsune was now a young teenage human, and if possible, even more beautiful than before. His heart was also much warmer now. Not to mention he was nicer. ( x.X; ). But, the poor thing, he had lost a significant amount of reiki. But that was okay, cuz he was still hot. Instead of long, silver hair, he had long, crimson hair. His cold, amber eyes had been replaced with large, emerald-green ones. And, of course, typical of humans, he lacked the fox ears and fluffy tail of the youko.  
  
Realizing that if he stayed in this land he would surely be killed by the brutish inhabitants, Kurama found a way through one of the streams of positively charged atoms and arrived in the Ningenkai. How did he get through the stream of positively charged atoms without being killed? He just did, because we can't have the main character dying.  
  
Sadly, the moment Kurama set foot in the Ningenkai, he was kidnapped...uh, foxnapped, by an ugly old witch named...Kuwabara! The witch...warlock...stared at the fanfic author, surprised and upset, then threatened to hurt the author, but the author knows that he would NEVER do that, so she shall continued on with the story without fearing for her safety.  
  
The ugly old witch...I mean, young warlock, wanted Kurama for the kitsune's bizarre ability to control anything with cytoplasm. Why? He had a good reason, but the author doesn't care about that reason, and so the reader shouldn't care either. So he locked Kurama in a tower and forced him to shell out massive amounts of reiki to control plants. Kurama gave the author a funny look and asked why he couldn't just use a plant to attack the warlock, or to break out with. The author responded that Kurama was the tragic maiden of this story, therefore he couldn't think of ways to escape, just pine away and wait for his prince to come.  
  
One day a prince did come. His named was Prince Yusuke. The prince came up to the tower and saw the beautiful kitsune in the window. Somehow knowing the fox's name without actually meeting him, he called out;  
  
"Kurama, Kurama! Let down your hair!"  
  
Kurama blinked and looked down from about three stories up at Yusuke. Then the kitsune looked back at his own barely waist-length hair. Yusuke shrugged. "Oh. Nevermind," and he went on his way.  
  
The next day a handsome knight named Touya happened to walk by. However, he was strictly a 'save maiden from dragon' type of guy, so he left. Kurama sighed rather boredly and asked the author why Touya had to appear in this fic at all if he was just going to be in there for a second. The author responded that she liked Touya, and that Kurama should stick to the script and not ask such stupid questions. The fox didn't look amused as the author cleared her throat and continued on with the story.  
  
Ahem.  
  
Kurama waited and waited for his prince or princess (whichever was most convenient at the time) to come. About seven hours after Touya had passed by, someone arrived in the dead of night.  
  
He was handsome and tall, with--uuhhh...okaaay...scratch that. He was cute and short with gravity-defying hair and blood red eyes. He looked at the building in front of him, wandering why in the world there was a tower in the middle of a human suburb. He opened the door to the tower and casually strolled up the stairs, looking for someone to torture or kill because he was bored. After seconds and seconds of walking, he came to the top of the tower, where he saw the weakened Kurama.  
  
"Oi, baka kitsune, how'd you get yourself trapped in this tower which, ironically enough, wasn't even locked?" the stranger asked, shooting the author a look.  
  
"Such is the fate of a hot bishounen like myself in the hands of a strange fangirl." Kurama answered. "What's your name?"  
  
"...I'm Hiei."  
  
"Great. Let's get married tomorrow, defeat Kuwabara, steal the Makai kingdom from my parents and live happily ever after," Kurama said quickly, wanting desperately to get this fanfic over with.  
  
"Hn. Whatever."  
  
So they got married, defeated Kuwabara, stole the Makai kingdom from Kurama's parents and lived happily ever after. Kurama never returned to his youko form, Mukuro and Yomi got divorced, Prince Yusuke never went to school, Knight Touya made the ice sculpture at Kurama's and Hiei's wedding, Kuwabara was angry at his minor role in the story, and Hiei was perpetually annoyed.  
  
And with the completion of the fanfic, the author stretched, fell onto the floor and rolled around, then bounced into the kitchen to get some more Nerds.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
^^ And so ends the pointless fic! Flames will be okay for tonight. ::shivers:: Me cold. 


End file.
